In the early days of my recovery, I couldn’t stay sober. I’d get 90 days of sobriety or maybe even more, then finally six months. Cause for celebration! Out I went, drunk and sick. My sponsor told me “You don’t want to quit drinking.” I denied it, but deep down, I knew he was right. I’d get drunk then come back, dragging my drunken butt in to hide behind the apron of mother AA.
Getting sober isn’t a matter of just quitting drinking. It has to come from, as it says in the 5th chapter off Alcoholics Anonymous, from an HONEST desire to stop drinking. Not because a few days before Christmas you got drunk again and screwed up your family’s enjoyment of the holidays.
Right now, you may be feeling stronger after the drunk of a few days ago. So, now is a good time to get drunk. “No, wait! One more day. By that time most of the wounds I inflicted on me and my family over the holidays won’t be so painfull.” It’s amazing how the next drunk has a way of completely wiping clean the pain of that last drunk!
Don’t B.S. yourself. You either want sobriety or you don’t. I know what it’s like to want to get drunk. There were times when nothing would stop my compulsion to drink, not even an AA meeting. I would hate myself, but I knew that as soon as the meeting was over, so was my sobriety. It’s a continuous nightmare. It only gets worse, never better.
Alcoholism is a disease that tells you don’t have a disease, all the while pushing you further down the ladder. “This time will be different, than my last drunk.” And so, the cycle continues until you have lost everything and even maybe, your life. Alcoholism is a progressive disease AND it only gets worse, never better.
Drinking less, eating before you drink, not drinking until your work is done and so many other attempted escapes from the ferocity of alcohol will only delay the inevitable. Wow! Drunk again, how’d that happen?
Listen, I love you all because I know how bleak things can get. Just stay sober today, go to an AA meeting and don’t worry about tomorrow. One day at a time.
Oh, and revisit the video in the blog before this one. It may change your life. Oh, by the way. Smoking a joint then getting behind the wheel increases your chance of having an accident by as much as 50%. It’s true.!!
God Bless you my brothers and sisters.