What can you do to stop your alcoholic from drinking?
It starts with acceptance. Aren’t you sick of hearing that phrase? So many of us feel like failures because we’re helpless in our efforts to stop the alcoholic from ruining his/her life and the lives of everyone around them. If your alcoholic would just stop drinking, everything would be great. Not so! Drinking is but a symptom of alcoholism, the root of the problem is deep within the psyche of the drinker.
The earlier the age the alcoholic began drinking, the more imbedded is the disease. Often, like me, the drinker’s maturation process is stunted. It is a character defect that continues to show its ugly head in my life, even after 15 years of sobriety.
Recently two of my close friends came back into my life, both in the program, and it was awful. My old friend whom I had working for me, was the sickest individual I’ve ever had the displeasure of working with. This guy was a one man wrecking crew perpetrating lies, untruths and innuendo, was very passive aggressive and almost brought down my radio station. He was a genuine nightmare to say the least. When he physically attacked me, he lost his job. The staff was very happy that he left town. And he was sober. Dry is more appropriate.
Then, there is the story of my sweet friend who married a guy in the program, moved to the Midwest with him and both are back out there drinking. After a couple of beatings, we spoke. She is like a little sister to me. It bothers me because there she goes again. As I predicted, she’s giving him one more chance, and he’s already intruding on her individuality. He’s jealous, angry and untrusting and is one or two words from giving her another beating. I’ve had to put on my Al-Anon jacket on again. I just hope she doesn’t end up violently beaten or worse. Two people in the program getting married is like two fully loaded garbage trucks in a head-on collision going a hundred miles an hour. What a mess.
Al-anon members do not give direction or advice to other members. Instead, they share their personal experiences and stories, and invite other members to “take what they like and leave the rest”—that is, to determine for themselves what lesson they could apply to their own lives.
The best place to learn how Al-Anon works is at an al-anon meeting in your local community. Personal contact is an important element in the healing process. These Web page selections may give you some encouragement to visit your first meeting.
If you or someone you know is going through this, read this and save yourself from living a terrible life. Call al-anon.
I love you my friends.