Hi there… It’s me, Hoot. your full time friend and part time fool. I spoke to an Alanon friend the other day and she told me that, sadly, her son had gone back out after two years sober. She said he was living in a recovery home now, has another job and is trying to find sobriety that will stick!! I had the privilege of working with her son and in spite of the set back, the positive that has come out of all this is, he’s showing up where he’s surrounded by those in recovery and he’s soaking it up.
I told her how it took me years before I finally surrendered, completely. If we’re able to learn from “going back out” and don’t kill ourselves or someone else, it can be and often is, a teaching experience. My sponsor told me once that I was in danger of losing the importance of having s sobriety date, and that one day, it won’t matter any more. That stuck. I didn’t want to lose the importance of what my sobriety date meant to me. I was so deep into self loathing and lack of respect for myself, I finally threw in the towel. Thanks, for certain, my Higher Power.
It’s a story I’d like to tell you one day. Learn, but realize, you are playing with death when you go back out. It is that serious. I wanted to tell you this story because my Alanon friend is just frazzled that her son’s drinking, in spite of all he knows, talks him back into the bottle time after time. Alcohol – Deep patience.
Love you all,